Essential Guide to Picky Eating

It’s too spicy! It’s too slimy! It’s the wrong color!

If your child rejects new foods and has strong food preferences, you might have heard something like this before many times.

Picky eating is pretty common during childhood, and almost half of all children are picky eaters at some point. The good news is that about 32% of children outgrow picky eating, but picky eating persists for about 4% of children. 

In my experience as a children’s nutrition expert, many families I work with worry their children aren’t eating enough nutritious food or that their kids won’t have healthy eating habits when they get older.

It may feel overwhelming at times, but it's important to remember that selective eating is a normal part of development in most cases.

Let’s take a look at some of the possible causes of fussy eating and what parents of picky eaters can do to help.

What Causes Picky Eating?

Kids can show pickiness with specific foods or go through a period of picky eating and only stick to a few safe foods. 

What causes a child to become picky? 

There isn't a simple answer. Genetics and a child's environment are the biggest influences on eating behaviors, particularly parents and family (more on that below). 

According to a recent review, certain characteristics of children influence picky eating behaviors. These are intrinsic factors, and they include sensitivity to smell and taste and the child's personality. An authoritarian parenting style is the most common extrinsic factor that influences a child's eating behavior.

Let's dive into the common contributing factors that may cause picky eating.

Developmental disorders

Feeding and eating problems are common in children with autism and other developmental disorders. Typically, kids with autism have sensory aversions to colors or textures. For example, a child may only want plain white foods and reject foods with color. 

A child with textural issues may avoid mushy foods and only like crunchy foods, or it can be the reverse. Although this picky eating behavior is common with developmental disorders, many picky eaters have an aversion to these sensory qualities of food. 

Parenting style and feeding environment

Parents and family significantly influence a child's eating behaviors and relationship to food. Some studies suggest that parenting styles may affect how a child eats. The four main parenting styles are authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and neglectful. 

Authoritarian parents tend to be restrictive and use more controlling methods when feeding their kids. For example, pressuring kids to eat or forcing them to sit at the table until they finish something are ways caregivers exert control over food. 

Although most parents have good intentions and control food out of concern for their child's health, it often does more harm than good. These tactics can increase the risk of picky eating and disordered eating as kids age.

However, the authoritative style positively influences the feeding environment. Authoritative parents provide boundaries and clear standards -- but without the restriction and control.

A sweet 6-month old baby boy starting solid foods. Thank you to his parents for sharing!

Early foods and solid food introduction

The AAP recommends that parents introduce solids when infants are about 6 months old. Introducing solid food to babies is an important milestone in their development. Complementary feeding during infancy adds essential nutrients, can help prevent food allergies and boost fine motor skills, and teaches babies to eat a variety of foods. 

How and what foods are introduced during complementary feeding affects a child’s taste preferences and eating habits throughout childhood. For example, when early foods are ultra-processed, a baby may develop a preference for high-sodium or sugary foods. 

Asserting independence

Picky eating is most common during toddlerhood, and that has a lot to do with the toddler's stage of development. 

Babies naturally become more independent when they reach toddlerhood, including asserting control over what they eat through mealtime behaviors like spitting out food, refusing the highchair, and throwing food. The highest percentage of picky happens during this time in childhood. Suddenly, your 2-year-old might reject fruits and vegetables they ate during infancy or refuse to try new food. The struggle for autonomy is expected and very common during toddlerhood. 

Can You Prevent Picky Eating in Children?

Kids are individuals and their personalities, taste buds, food preferences, and aversions influence their eating habits. But, there are things you can do that may reduce the chance your little one will be a picky eater.

Variety

You can encourage your child's willingness to try new things by offering a variety of foods as early as 6 months old when they start solids. Studies suggest the more new flavors you expose babies to during the process of starting solids, the more willing they’ll be to try and accept new foods.

Serve foods with different colors, textures, shapes, and flavors. It's okay if they don't like everything or don't always want to try new food. Every exposure counts! It helps when you offer only a small amount of one new food at a time, so they're not overwhelmed.

Positive mealtimes

A 17-month old girl helping out in the kitchen! Thank you to her parents for sharing.

Picky eating can be stressful for the whole family, but mealtime stress makes picky eating worse. 

Try creating a positive and relaxed mealtime environment, without distractions or the pressure to eat certain foods. When a child refuses to eat, forcing or bribing that child to clean their plate or take a certain number of bites doesn't work in the long run. Instead, help your child learn to accept and enjoy vegetables and other healthy foods by being a positive role model.

Make food and cooking fun, upbeat, and interesting. Involve kids in planning, going to the grocery store, prepping, and cooking by giving them age-appropriate kitchen jobs. 

How Do You Help a Child with Picky Eating?

If your little one is already a picky eater, there is so much we can do to help them overcome food aversions, develop healthy eating habits, and teach kids to enjoy a wider variety. 

Here are a few tips you can try to help you manage mealtime:

• Be patient and try to keep stress away from mealtimes (even when your little one refuses to try new foods)

• Follow Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility between parents and children; as parents, it’s our role to decide what, when, and where meals are served, and it is our children’s role to decide whether and how much to eat 

• Always offer at least one food kids like and generally accept at every meal or snack so that your child can relax, knowing that there will be something present they can fill up on

• Take the pressure off family meals by introducing new foods to your picky eater at another meal or snack time; breakfast often works well as a time to try new foods, as everyone is rested

• Allow kids to take their portion from a serving plate 

• Let them play with food; food play activities are an excellent way for picky eaters to overcome sensory food aversions and become comfortable around new foods 

• Don’t give up; repeated exposures are one of the most effective ways to encourage kids to try new foods 

• Serve new foods without an expectation that they like or finish it

When to Worry About Picky Eating

Picky eating can be stressful for families, but the biggest concern I hear from parents is they're worried about their child's health. It's understandable, but most picky eaters will get the nutrients and calories they need throughout the day to stay healthy and grow when we’re offering balanced meals at regular intervals throughout the day.

With extreme picky eating, kids accept only a small number of foods which can lead to nutrient deficiencies and too few calories. When this happens, kids may lose weight or fall behind in development. In these cases, kids may need the help of a team of specialists.

Here are signs that extreme picky eating is affecting your little one's social and physical development. Contact your pediatrician or registered dietitian specializing in children's nutrition if you're concerned.

• Growth curve. Every child grows differently and follows their own natural growth trajectory. Some kids are naturally below the chart's median growth line, which may be normal for them. But, if your child suddenly falls below or off their growth curve, it indicates they're not getting enough calories and nutrients to support growth.

• Fewer than 20 foods. Extreme picky eaters tend to eat fewer than a total of 20 different foods.

• Social impact. Extreme picky eating can affect other areas of a child's life such as school and social activities. 

Does your child avoid most foods? Are they anxious in social situations when food is served? Is their picky eating making it difficult for them to participate fully in school activities such as lunchtime or field trips? 

Even when a child gets all the nutrients they need, picky eating and food refusal may cause them to withdraw from social activities and fall behind in their social development.

Are you struggling to manage your child’s picky eating? You don't have to navigate this alone. I'm here to help.

Grab my FREE guide to reducing picky eating, or if you are looking for more guidance navigating picky eating behaviors in your toddlers, preschoolers, and school-age kiddos, check out my online course, Solve Picky Eating, a self-paced set of 12 modules that are delivered quickly in 5-15 minute videos. 

And if you need guidance around a specific nutrition-related concern, I am currently accepting new clients in my virtual private practice. Book a 1:1 session with me and we’ll get to the bottom of it.